


there's nothing quite like coming home

by alltears



Category: The Book of Mormon - Parker/Stone/Lopez
Genre: 5+1 Things, Arnold Ships It, Coming Out, Disney Movies, Everyone's A Cockblock, F/M, First Kiss, Inappropriate Reactions To Someone Coming Out, Internalized Homophobia, Kevin Price is Hot, Kevin Stans Star Wars, M/M, Naba Ships It, Spiders, also he's a little bit of a dick but he just wants what's best, because im not that creative, but it's three, watching sunsets
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-03
Updated: 2017-09-03
Packaged: 2018-12-23 06:04:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,671
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11983713
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alltears/pseuds/alltears
Summary: The 3 times Connor failed to tell Kevin how he felt, and the one time it sorta went right.





	there's nothing quite like coming home

**Author's Note:**

> hey hey HEY wassup y'all? i finally finished a fic before 1:00am which is a new record. im DEEPLY repressing the fact that great comet is closing because it's been my favorite musical for, ya know, two years, so, im suffering. 
> 
> anyways. i hope you enjoy this fic! for once, im actually really proud of my characterization! also, i looked at pictures of spiders for this, and i am very much not a fan of spiders, so. you're welcome. this is dedicated to my group chat "cbag" because they're all lovely people who deserve the World. enjoy!

It was a tense day in Uganda. The elders apparently thought that since it was a Saturday, they were able to sleep in, leaving Elder McKinley - Connor, as Arnold instructed everyone to call him - to make breakfast for nine adults all on his own. If you asked Connor, that was what he’d say to explain his bad mood. But heck, that wasn’t even scratching the surface. Elder Price had already screwed up his head by being the most beautiful person to walk the earth, but in the past few weeks, Arnold had assumed all the responsibilities of a district leader that Connor had worked so hard for. Normally, he just would’ve turned it off, but apparently they didn’t do that anymore, which was just another thing to feel guilty about. Gosh, Connor felt like a fool. In the heat of moment, Connor had announced to  _ everyone  _ that he would no longer turn it off, but that was easier said than done. It pained him to keep it inside. All he really wanted was to talk to someone  _ anyone  _ about it, but he just… couldn’t. 

 

And heat certainly wasn’t helping.

 

Saving him from his thoughts, Kevin and Arnold entered the kitchen, singing something together, fairly off-key. They laughed, cutting themselves, and greeted Connor.

 

“Morning, Elder!” Arnold chirped. Connor smiled, big and wide and toothy, handing them both plates of eggs and toast. Arnold furrowed his brow, glancing around at the many identical plates covering the counters. “Did you make all of this yourself?”

 

“Uh, yes! No one else woke up on time, so…” He laughed, slightly hoping his passive-aggressive tone wouldn’t go unnoticed. Kevin smirked sheepishly, picking at his toast.

 

“I thought we decided to ditch all the dumb rules of the Church?” Arnold interrogated. Connor didn’t agree with a lot of the Church’s rules, but he couldn’t help bristling at Arnold’s ability to get the other elders to listen to him.

 

“ _ You  _ might’ve,” Connor tilted up his chin to appear taller. “but we need those rules to keep order around here. Frankly,  _ Prophet _ , I am still the District Leader, so you still must listen to me,” Connor bit his lip to keep it from quivering, ignoring Kevin’s eyes lingering on the move for a moment too long.

 

“I can’t help if people wanna listen to me. Besides, aren’t you sorta wrapped up in your own issues right now?” Kevin glanced at Arnold, but his expression was unreadable to Connor. Arnold, however, frowned and looked back to Connor apologetically.

 

“My-my  _ issues _ ?” More elders were filtering in as the conversation got more heated, all of them sporting matching faces of concern and confusion. “I’m not sure what ‘issues’ you’re referring to, Arnold.”

 

“C’mon, Connor, don’t pull that crap! We’re your friends! You’ve been so closed off recently, and it’s freaking me out! Whatever you’re keeping inside doesn’t need to  _ stay  _ inside. Just talk to us!”

 

“It’s not that simple, Arnold!” Connor started, his face getting hot. “I’m, I’m not, I-I  _ can’t _ -”

 

“Why can’t you? I’m sure it’s no big deal! Just-”

 

“You don’t understand! I’m gay, Elder Cunningham!”

 

The already quiet room got somehow quieter, every elder that happened to be in the kitchen at that moment turning to Connor in alarm. Connor let out a short yelped and smacked his hands over his mouth tightly, as if that would put the words back in. The impact of what he said (shouted) hit everyone in the room, but Connor didn’t see it, instead squeezing his eyes shut and willing the moment to pass. Suddenly, there was a hand on his shoulder.

 

“Well,” Kevin was talking at last, soft and gentle and more comforting than it should’ve been after only one word. “No shit, buddy.”

 

At that, Connor opened his eyes, the elders around them laughing slightly, though not unkindly. And then he looked to Kevin, whose face was awfully close. He was looking down at him sweetly, his smile sympathetic.

 

“What, so… You all knew?” Again, the elders laughed, a bit awkwardly this time around. “But, I’m so good at turning it off!” The elders began talking all at once, remarking when they knew, how they knew, or in Poptarts’ case - Though everyone else was going by their first names, Poptarts remained Poptarts - a projected ‘I didn’t even know it was a secret’ cutting through. Connor groaned, and Kevin slung his arm around him with a stumbling chuckle.

 

“Helpful, Poptarts, thank you,” Kevin remarked. “Connor, there are some things I just don’t think you can turn off. Although… I guess you’ve probably figured that out for yourself by now,” Connor nodded grimly, staring down at the wonky floorboard that would never quite go down all the way. Kevin seemed to search Connor’s face before pulling away and grabbing the plate he must’ve set down earlier. “Well, we should eat! Everyone, thank Connor for making us breakfast!” 

 

And just like that, the morning went on like any other tense Ugandan morning would go in their house. Though, Connor did feel queasy when, during the chorus of “Thank you, Connor” sounded through the room, Kevin leaned over to Connor again.

 

“We’ll talk about this later, ‘Kay?”

 

\- one -

 

So they talked about it. Or tried to, at least.

 

Kevin invited Connor into his room an hour or two after Arnold had left to see Nabulungi. Since the events of that morning, the day seemed to pass slowly. The other elders, bless their hearts, tried to be overly helpful to Connor. But their empathetic smiles read more like pity, and he definitely noticed the distance other elders put between them when they spoke.

 

This only added to Connor’s worry. Kevin joked around with him like normal during breakfast, but he had been out with some of the Ugandan women all day. He had plenty of time to decide to hate Connor forever, or at least tell them to stop being friends. Heck, that had happened before, after all.

 

“Connor, can I ask you something?” Connor was jerked from his thoughts and back to the room, where they sat cross-legged on Kevin’s bed, facing each other. Kevin was staring at him, his eyes wide with encouragement. Giving a short nod of confirmation, Connor avoided the younger elder’s gaze. “Are you… Okay?”

 

“Uh, what do you mean?” Connor hated this feeling. As a born leader, vulnerability was unnatural to him. Of course, Kevin probably wasn’t attempting to make Connor feel weak, but that didn’t stop him from wilting under his gaze.

 

“Oh, I don’t mean to make you upset. I only meant that, well, you were kind of forced out of the closet today. Plus, like Arnold said earlier, you haven’t quite been yourself the past couple weeks.”

 

“You barely know me, Elder,” Connor didn’t have anything better to say. It wasn’t really true; The elders stationed in Kitguli had learned all too much about Connor and Kevin alike. Still, Connor was feeling defensive already.

 

“I like to think I do,” Kevin started, cocking his head at the other inquisitively. “I know you hate blueberry pancakes. I know that you’ve been tap dancing since you were five. And, I knew you were gay!” He said it so triumphantly that Connor couldn’t help but laugh. 

 

“Okay, okay, I guess that’s true,” Kevin grinned, the corners of his eyes crinkling in the way that makes Connor’s throat feel tight. “You are right, I suppose. I haven’t, uh, been sleeping well recently because of the Hell dreams.”

 

“Oh, I’m sorry. Have they at least gotten better since we’ve stopped following the Church?” Kevin’s eyes flashed with hurt, and Connor wondered if it was because of his own experience with Hell dreams. From what he’d heard from other elders, each person’s dream was its own monster, completely catered to their personal situation. But the crushing guilt, the frightening visions, and the  _ need _ to wake up, remained the same no matter who was experiencing them.

 

“If anything, they’ve gotten worse. At least since you...” Connor trailed off, suddenly becoming very interested in picking at a loose thread on Kevin’s bedsheet. In his head, Connor weighed his options. Telling Kevin about his crush (undying love) would be hard, and he deserved to know. And, Connor would rather get it out in private and on his own terms. “Uh, so, since you and Arnold arrived-”

 

As if saying those words summoned him, Arnold arrived.

 

“Han Solo shot first!” Arnold shouted, kicking the door open and jabbing a finger in Kevin’s face. The tips of Kevin’s ears turned pink, and his expression hardened.

 

“Oh, so  _ that’s  _ what we’re gonna do today? Fight?” Kevin moved to stand up, but seemed to remember himself when Connor rolled his eyes rather dramatically.  “Arnold, can we table this? I’m sorta busy right now,” 

 

Nothing since they had arrived had annoyed Connor more than Kevin’s new passion for Star Wars. They had a marathon of the first three in the common space one night, and though Harrison Ford was some nice eye candy, the plot was boring and there was way too much incest for a mainstream film. Originally, Connor had assumed Kevin was pretending to like it for the sake of his best friend, but then he’d called Poptarts a “nerf herder” in an argument about doing the dishes, and it had only gotten worse from there.

 

“Fine. Oh, hi Connor!” Arnold greeted half-heartedly, before flopping down on his bed, taking a pen out from his pocket, and beginning to write something on his hand.

 

“Sorry, Con. What were you gonna say?” Connor glanced over to Arnold warily. “Don’t worry about him. Anything you can say to me, you can say to Arnold!” Kevin said sweetly. Their close friendship was envious to the rest of the elders.

 

“Right. Um… Okay. So ever since you and Arnold arrived, I… I lost my vest!” Another lie. The back of Connor’s brain reminded him  _ sin, that’s a sin _ , but he was quick to ignore it as much as possible. 

 

“Wow. That… I wasn’t expecting that!” Kevin laughed, a little forced. “The pink one? With the sequins?” 

 

“That’s the one,” Connor smiled, bright and fake and  _ wrong _ . “Well, it’s late. I’m gonna go to bed.”

 

“Are you sure? We didn’t really get to talk…” Kevin started, but Connor was already up and making his way to the door. He turned to face Kevin - And Arnold, who wasn’t even pretending not to watch at that point - before making some flimsy confirmation and exiting.

 

\- two -

 

Connor had spent the previous four days jumping through hoops to avoid Kevin, while simultaneously trying to gather the confidence to talk to him. It wasn’t that Connor thought the elder was mad at him, but he’d just about die if he had to go through another conversation as awkward as the one they shared Saturday night.

 

Being the district leader came with a lot of perks, and though Arnold could assume the responsibilities of most them, there was no way he was touching the chore wheel.

 

Connor’s first week in Kitguli was horrid. It was just him and and the exiting district leader, living in a hut with a broken roof no one had bothered fixing. Before long, however, he had fixed the roof, welcomed seven other elders into the home, and spent two days of time, energy, and resources making his chore wheel. By the time he was done, it was  _ magnificent  _ \- Brightly colored, even spacing on the words, and, of course, made the elders do their work. 

 

Too bad the chore wheel wanted Connor to suffer.

 

Connor didn’t mind doing the gardening. It was a heck of a lot better than cleaning the bathrooms, at least. What he  _ did  _ mind was Kevin watching how to clip plantains from behind him, so close that he could feel his breath on his neck.

 

“I think I get it!” Kevin exclaimed, stepping to the tree next to Connor and beginning to work. The heat wasn’t crazy that day, but apparently Kevin had deemed 83 ° hot enough that he needed to unbutton his shirt halfway. It was times like these that made keeping his crush secret so hard, because really, it wasn’t his fault that Kevin’s hair fell in front of his face, or that his skin turned golden under the sun instead of pink like Connor’s, or that he didn’t even need to use the step-stool to cut the plantains because he was  _ just that tall _ -

 

“I need to get something off my chest!” Connor said, surprising even himself. Kevin squinted at Connor before dropping the plantain he had successfully taken from the tree. 

 

“I hope it’s that spider,” He stated, pointing at the pocket on Connor’s shirt that, yes, was currently inhabited by a spider not much smaller than the pocket itself. How Kevin was able to remain so unfazed was beyond Connor, but that was the least of his problems right now, because there was a  _ giant effing spider  _ on his shirt and Connor  _ screamed _ . 

 

“Oh my gosh! Holy mother of heck,  _ Kevin _ , don’t just stand there! Oh my gosh, oh my gosh, oh my gosh…” At that, Kevin sprung into action picking up a handheld shovel from the ground and lightly brushing the bug off.

 

“There, it’s gone. Are you okay?” Kevin was concerned, yes, but he couldn’t help but find Connor’s reaction entertaining, and he cursed himself for laughing.

 

“What’s so funny?” Connor glared, crossing his arms (and then uncrossing them when the action just made Kevin laugh harder).

 

“You-you were so scared! You were so scared of a  _ spider _ -”

 

“A  _ giant  _ spider-”

 

“-And you didn’t even  _ swear _ !” Kevin giggled. “No, no, it’s not even that. You used  _ filler  _ swears when you thought you were gonna  _ die _ !” 

 

“I didn’t think I was gonna die!”

 

“You sure screamed like you did. I’m surprised no one came running over here to see just who was getting murdered!” Connor rolled his eyes, failing to hold back the smile creeping onto his face.

 

“I hate you.”   
  


“No, you don’t.”

 

“No, I don’t,” Connor agreed, leaving the two of them smiling softly at each other.

 

“Oh, wait,” Kevin perked up a bit. “What were you going to tell me?”

 

“O-oh, um… I forgot,” Connor brushed his questioning look off, and returned to the plantain tree.

 

\- three -

 

It was late.

 

Way too late.

 

Someone once told Connor that nothing good happens after 3:00am, but he couldn’t remember who told him that, so it probably wasn’t that important.

 

It was currently 3:27 in the morning, and Connor refused to sleep. Even if the Hell dreams hadn’t been getting worse since he came out, the thought of marathoning every Disney princess movie created with Kevin Price was too enticing to pass up.

 

They were on their fifth movie of the night, Sleeping Beauty, which, despite being clearly exhausted, Kevin insisted on because they  _ were  _ sharing a Sleeping Beauty-decorated comforter, after all. Honestly, Connor hadn’t even known how close they were sitting until Kevin scolded him for hogging the blanket. He barely had to move his foot to shove him off the couch in rebuttal. Kevin must not have noticed when, after he sat back down, Connor rested his head on his shoulder.

 

“Of all the Disney characters, I think you’re most like Aurora,” Kevin commented, his eyes glued to the screen as if he was in a trance.

 

“Who’s Aurora?”

 

“Are you even watching the movie?” Connor shrugged. “Aurora is Sleeping Beauty’s real name.”

 

“Oh, okay. Why do you say that?”

 

“Well, she sorta has the same color hair as you. ‘Cept yours is darker,” Kevin paused to yawn and poke at a strand of Connor’s hair before letting his hand fall limp. “And she’s gentle, and she follows the rules all the time. Plus, she gets really confident and stuff later on in the movie.”

 

“Yeah, cause I’m  _ so  _ self-assured,” Connor chuckled.

 

“No, you aren’t. But you’ll get there soon.” Kevin punctuated his sentence with another yawn, covering up the way Connor’s breath hitched embarrassingly. Connor tried to change the subject.

 

“Does that make you Prince Philip?” Connor was screaming at himself internally. Him and Kevin were  _ not  _ a couple, that was  _ way  _ too bold, whoever told him that nothing good happens after 3:00am was  _ right _ -

 

And then Kevin hummed, and Connor felt Kevin’s head rest on his.

 

“‘Guess so,” He slurred. “‘Look like him most.”

 

And then the courage was there.

 

“Kevin… I need to tell you something,” Connor took a deep breath before continuing. “You… You make my life so hard. Wait, that sounded bad. Um, I thought that turning it off was getting easier maybe, or maybe i wasn’t actually gay anymore before you and Arnold came here, but… But then I met you, and it really hit me in the face that turning it off wouldn’t work. Um, and then a lot of stuff went down - I still don’t know what happened with you and the General - and after that… I think you know I tried to distance myself from you a lot. Being around you was -  _ is  _ \- intoxicating, and I just… I couldn’t allow myself to be gay. But then… I don’t know. You’re just too amazing of a person to keep away from. And it honestly seems like you want to be my friend, so I’m sorry if I ruin that by saying this, but… I love you,” He then fell silent, waiting for a response.

 

Ten seconds went by.

 

Then ten more.

 

Then a minute.

 

“Kevin? Did you hear what I said?” He paused for a moment, before lifting his head off of Kevin and turning to look at his very unconscious friend.

 

“Oh my gosh, Kevin, wake up!” Connor yelped, frustrated. Kevin woke with a start, his eyes darting around the room frantically until he registered where he was.

 

“How long was I out? Did I miss ‘Once Upon A Dream’?” Connor sighed.

 

“I don’t know, I wasn’t watching.”

 

“You weren’t watching? What else could you be doing that’s more interesting than Disney?” Connor just shook his head, leaning back against the couch cushions again. Kevin huffed when he did, apparently judging it insufficient. He draped his arm over Connor’s stomach and nuzzled his face into the nape of Connor’s neck, falling asleep again almost immediately.

 

\- plus one - 

 

“I don’t like breaking the rules, Kevin! Everyone else is in their rooms by now,” Connor said, his voice strained as Kevin helped pull him onto the roof of the mission center. He scooted over to where Kevin was sitting, squinting at the sun in front of them.

 

“Oh, c’mon. Live a little. Arnold and Nabulungi apparently watched the sun set last night, and I guess it was better than the ones in America? That doesn’t make a whole lotta sense to me, ‘cause like, isn’t it the same Sun no matter where you are?” Connor snorted.

 

“I’m sure he had a good reason to recommend it,” He mumbled. Kevin made a small noise of agreement, and the two fell into a comfortable silence. 

 

It had been almost a week since Arnold and Nabulungi had woken up them up, tangled together on the couch under a Sleeping Beauty blanket. Connor feared the worst, as he does, but instead of pulling a massive “No Homo” and avoiding him like the plague, Kevin just rolled his eyes at his friends teasing and grinned, all tired and dopey, and he’d be lying if he said it didn’t make his heart flutter just thinking about it.

 

Kevin did anything  _ but  _ avoid Connor. In fact, they were inseparable all week. Sure, it caused some questioning looks from the other elders, but Connor barely cared. Obviously, Kevin only thought of him as a friend. Maybe it was a little selfish, but Connor didn’t care how exactly Kevin felt about him as long as they were hanging out.

 

However, the more they hung out, the harder it was to turn it off.

 

And boy, did Kevin look good in the soft golden light coming from the sky. 

 

Connor looked around them. There was no one to come interrupting, no spiders to ruin the mood (he doubled-checked that one)... it was just them and the sky. 

 

“I’m in love with you,” Connor didn’t have an opportunity to feel nervous, because at the same time he confessed, Kevin said;

 

“Do you think some birds are scared of heights?” He then turned his head towards Connor. “Wait, what did you say?”

 

“I… I think I said I’m in love with you?” Connor forced himself to look in Kevin’s eyes. If there was one moment in his life to be strong, this was it. Kevin’s eyes softened, and for a second, Connor let himself be hopeful, because that glint in his eyes looked a whole lot like love, and then Kevin ruined everything.

 

“Yeah,” He turned back to the sun in thought. “No shit, Con.”

 

“Oh, my…” Connor’s lip was trembling before he knew it. He ducked his head, blinking his eyes furiously to stop the tears that were already threatening to come out. And then Kevin fixed everything.

 

“Oh shit! No, Connor, I didn’t mean - Shit!” Kevin hurriedly wrapped his arm around Connor’s shoulder, pulling him close. “Connor, I love you too, I swear!” Connor’s head jerked up, his watery eyes and red nose breaking Kevin’s heart a bit. 

 

“You do?”

 

“How could I not?” Everything about their situation seemed bright and beautiful, and really, there only would’ve been a problem if Kevin  _ hadn’t  _ kissed Connor.

 

It was everything Connor wanted, minus the crying. Kevin was quick to brush off the tears, though, and his other hand was twisted in his hair. Connor could’ve died on the spot when he pulled Kevin closer by his shirt collar and Kevin  _ moaned _ .

 

When Kevin pulled away, Connor was beaming.

 

“You should’ve told me weeks ago,” Kevin half-joked, matching his grin. It soon fell away when Connor scoffed and pulled back.

 

“Damn, do I have some stories for you.”

**Author's Note:**

> hope you enjoyed! kudos are appreciated, comments will be remembered every time im writing for the rest of my life. i have some other bom/falsettos fics, so feel free to check those out! also, i wrote this under a sleeping beauty blanket. wish i was lying.
> 
> twitter: @WHlZZERGOINDOWN  
> tumblr: @mendelrostova


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